i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
