You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
