dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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