apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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