I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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