i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
