Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
