Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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