We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
