also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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