yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
