I hope mine doesn't look like that
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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