Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
