I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
