Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
