her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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