I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
