why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Of course I have a pirate flag
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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