he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
