I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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