I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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