why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All the doctor said was why
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
