I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
