Umm I'm too high to move.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I lost the right to judge tonight
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
