a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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