I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
