i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The uberlube is also flammable
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
