Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
