Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
