Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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