its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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