Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize