The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and she was petting her beer can
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
