So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
