You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need water and some morals
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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