So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
