my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
