So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
