i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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