Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
