9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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