it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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