Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
