just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
