and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
