I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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