i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
