is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
