I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize