she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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