Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
