How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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