He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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