So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
