D3 body, D1 cock
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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