Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
