you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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