FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
