I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize