Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Holy shit dude........stairs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
