Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
