He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
