A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize